'Sup rapists?

Allright, this week an' shit...

Um, well we've gotten a few complaints from our female time rapists about sexual harassment in our moon base. Now, guys, there's an appropriate time and place to hit on people -- namely while raping them. From now on unwanted flirtation on another time rapist will be punishable in the same manner as raping one.

Um, what else, oh yeah the high score of this week goes to Michael Vick who managed to rape a hole in all 60 hulls of the Titanic. This is Vick's third high score of the week in a row. As you all know he came close to stopping Stephen Colbert's record breaking streak of winning rapist of the month 6 months in a row, only to ultimately be defeated when Stephen raped his dogs and framed him. Good luck this month, Michael! Things are looking promising so far!

We've had a rape bounty put on Charles Manson. Anyone who rapes Mr. Manson will be awarded with rapist of the day and $300,000.

And I've officially promoted King Tut to be head supervisor of the East Asia time rapist division.

That's all for today, stay tuned for tomorrow's memo!

- TheZachs, king of time rapists